In the framework that I have been raised in, and I am sure many of you, I have been taught that it is impolite to disagree with someone else’s opinion. I have been taught to concede and say, “Well, I guess you are entitled to your own opinion, and I am entitled to mine.” However, do we really believe what we profess to believe if we are not willing to defend this belief at any cost? When this point was brought up in class, I was taken aback. I wondered if it were possible for me to defend my belief, but also respect that another person is entitled to his or her own beliefs. As I reflected on this more and more, I realized that this cannot be my primary concern especially when the very nature of another person’s belief compromises people’s own personal autonomy.
How can I be silent in the abortion debate when the very essence of a pro-life stance threatens my freedom to make a choice about my body? How can I be silent in the health care debate when the very essence of a stance that does not afford access to millions threatens the lives of millions and millions of people? How can I be silent in a debate about gay marriage when the very essence of an anti-gay marriage stance threatens familial security for so many couples?
I guess the answer is simple, I cannot be silent. Though it is often very difficult and at times may go against so many things that I have been taught, I cannot be silent. I cannot concede and say, “You are entitled to your own opinion.” By doing so, I reinforce their very stance and reinforce their decision to threaten people’s autonomy. There comes a point when defending my belief is so much more important than worrying about tact or hurting someone’s feelings. Instead of viewing this disagreement as something dreadful, it might be helpful to view this as an opportunity. I have the opportunity to express my beliefs to someone else. This may be the only time that he or she hears from the other side. I have the opportunity to open someone else’s eyes!
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I'm extremely enthused over your post! I was raised with the exact opposite message, as you might already know. "Speak your mind", my father would say. "Question authority", he would preach. And, more importantly, as I have discovered, is to question one's own authority. How have I come to worship what I so strongly believe is the truth? Who's truth is it, really? And why is it the only one said to be true?
ReplyDeleteThe feminist authors we have studied so far would likely agree that our opinions are socially, historically, culturally, politically, religiously, etc. constructed via the influences of numerous discursive structures embedded within our social apparatus. This fact, as Gilligan stated, begs the need for more interaction among differing peoples so as to build a greater understanding and intersubjectivity between social groups that would otherwise continue to operate with a set of stereotypical assumptions about the opposite group.
Your inclination to engage in a potentially unsettling conversation in order to express your beliefs and possibly expand someone else's mind is both inspiring and reassuring. If there were more open conversations and less hostile arguments, we might come to find that we are often fighting for the same goal and only need to agree upon a cooperative means to obtaining it. I thank you for speaking your mind about speaking your mind, and I encourage you to encourage others to do the same!
I really liked that you ended your blog by saying,"I have the opportunity to open someone else’s eyes!" I think that many people do not defend their view about arguments because they do not want to prove the other person wrong. However, by seeing in the light that you do, we should voice our true opinion so that others are able to gain a new perspective on certain issues. We are given the opportunity to inform others of different opinions. Also, we are able to gain more incite on our views even if our views disagree with the ones presented. Therefore, your last sentence makes a very intriguing point that we should see the act of speaking up as enlightening and not insulting.
ReplyDeleteI really like your post. I feel like most people who agree to disagree are afraid of insulting others, but they are also afraid of being shaken off of their platform. Having the opportunity to open someone's eyes is amazing. But it can be scary when your eyes are the ones that are being opened.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever gotten into an argument over abortion before with someone who cares. It is best to be silent, arguing does not solve anything just creates animosity. There are somethings that can be discussed and worked out practically, however there are times when there will never be an agreement because of core beliefs. On arguments like abortion there is no right or wrong answer just different ideas, so you can't open anyone's eyes, its much more complex than that.
ReplyDeleteIf things are complex then shouldn't they be more thoroughly debated and questioned? There is nothing practical about argument. I agree with you that there may never be an agreement because yes it is opposite views. This doesn't however warrant silence.
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